KidDGrimlock

So, it's me again, yeah, no news since the DOTM movie right? Haha, yeah.

ANYWAY!

Expect a Harry Potter Review in the near future, as I am still recovering from the epic conclusion of the movie series.

Also, expect a mini-review of the "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" Trailer, as I go through all the things I hate about it, and what makes me laugh out of it's sheer stupidity :3

Lastly, and most importantly, I would like to ask watchers of mine to check out my "Sister from another Mister's" RP/Fanfic/Story.

She's a new Transformer fan who has been converted into one because of me, and also Beast Wars, BUT MOSTLY ME!



So read, comment, be nice or I will kill you painfully, and have fun with it :3

It is 12:17 am on a cold Wisconsin night, I have returned from the first 3D viewing of Dark of the Moon, a ticket stub placed securely in my wallet amongst my other Summer Movie Collection, and my mind is abuzz thinking of the movie I have bared witness to.

Needless to say, Dark of the Moon is the third installment of the high grossing Transformer movie franchise, otherwise known as "Bay-Formers", returning after the brutally reviewed Revenge of the Fallen, does Dark of the Moon redeem the franchise? Or does it continue the legacy ROTF started?

Now, a good friend of mine and I have discussed this movie to no end. I shared a more optimistic view, believing this to be a redeeming film, and overall summer movie highlight.  My friend 4RLdeal, shared more negative views, unsure of this third installment after the bitter taste the second film left.

And, I have seen with my own eyes, who's opinion I truly share....

4RL, Nicodemus, friend....don't go too hard on me with the "I told you so's"  but, yes, the movie was bad.

TTT_____TTT


Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on the film at all, the action scenes are great, the effects top notch as always, but...it left me so annoyed at points and left me confused with more plot holes, not as bad as ROTF, but...still bad.

But, let's get down to the ACTUAL review now. Oh, and I'll warn you now, this is the point of no return, reading any further and there WILL be spoilers, I wish I could avoid them, but I cannot express my full opinions of the movie without sharing some plot points.



=======READING PAST THIS POINT WILL RESULT IN INSTANT BRAIN EXPLOSIONS DUE TO SPOILAGE======

=============YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED========

=============SERIOUSLY, STOP READING======


= NEW FACES (HUMANS) =
There's a handful of new faces attending this film, and I don't know the names of any of them! But really who cares about puny humans? Sadly, reviewers do, therefor, I must talk about them as well. T_T

First off, the main addition, Carly, what's her name not Megan Fox.  At first she makes a very good impression as an actress, her first scene is a camera zoomed in on her panties and this continues for about a minute...Yeah, that really isn't a great impression as an actress...but the guys sure loved it!  As with any switch in cast, the two actors/actresses are often compared to one another, such as in the Iron man movies replacing Rhodes, but unlike that debate, there is a clear winner.   CARLY.  While she IS still giant eye candy for the guys, she's a much better actor then Fox, and her character is surprisingly more interesting then Mikelia ever was.  Wait...who is Megan Fox? Never heard of her.

Another new addition is Dutch, who plays Seymour Simmons new personal assistant.....I want a movie about this guy, don't ask me why, but I seriously want to know his back story.  The guy is this man servant to Simmons, at first he's just bland, boring, chewing up scenery and then...BAM!  He's going Mission Impossible on us, getting into gun fights, working as a hacker, hell, screw the Matrix, THIS is the real Mcguffin in the movie!  He literally just shows up and solves everyone's problems, it's....bizarre.

But let's not forget this movie's main focus...HUMANS!  Right?  Well there's a human bad guy now, named Dylan.  Picture every douche of a boss or jerk you've ever met, roll them all together, and you get Dylan, yeah, you'll hate him very soon.  Oddly enough though....I like his character, he's not evil by choice really, his dad made a deal with the Decepticons, and he merely was thrown into the "family business", you can see he doesn't neccessarily like what he's doing, and feels conflicted at times, especially during the invasion of Chicago.  But inevitably he is still a villain, and does the basic villain things, helping the Decepticons, being a jerk, etc.

Additional cast members are easily forgettable, Mearing, or whatever her name was is annoying and you will get tired of her quickly. Epp's "Mercenary/NEST" friends are pointless to me, and have no point at all, and everyone else isn't worth mentioning.

= NEW FACES (TRANSFORMERS) =
The main reason you would go see this movie, the new Transformers!  AAAAAAND!....letdown, I'm sorry but...let down.

One thing I did like about ROTF's sale pitch, was that a good chunk of classic characters would be in it, Devastator, Jetfire, Arcee, Sideswipe, the Constructions, Ravage, Soundwave, it was a dream come true...which spiraled into a horrible nightmare.  But DOTM has very little character hype, what are they giving us?  Shockwave...the Wreckers, and two bots who's names are messed up.  Yeah, great pitch.

Let's get to the characters individually now:

Shockwave is the main bot people will be looking for, he's one of the legendary Decepticons in the franchise, his design is pretty good, and.....he falls into the category of "Devastation" for me, aka, a hyped character who gets few scenes, and dies rather poorly.  Spoilers here, Shockwave is weakened by humans after a parachute falls on his head, and dies when Prime Buster Knuckles his way through his chest.  Weak, very weak.  Not to mention he only got one line.  Design= Good, Character= Horrible   Death= Shoot me now...

Mirage...or is it Dino? Or is it....ugh, well the movie DOES call his Dino.  Anyway, few lines, no character, chews scenery, sorta a waste of a cool design.

Wheeljack...or is it...SCREW IT!  His movie name is Que..or Q...UGH! Eitherway, I sorta liked this guy, the voice was nice in my opinion, and he seemed like a good guy, bot, whatever.  However....very fews scenes, and quite frankly...he's a coward and he dies like one as well. Glad they called him Que, better to not tarnish Wheeljack's legacy with Que's actions.

The Dreads...man, they needed some love in this, they show up for one fight scene, and that's it, the designs are nice at least, despite no lines or character at all, but, eh, it's a Bay movie, they look nice.  However I just wish we could've seen more of them :/

Wreckers, can't really say anything about them, they don't really do much in the film, they have very few lines, and I barely notice they were on screen, sorta sad, I was hoping to see more of them.

Laserbeak.  OH. MY. GOD.  I love Laserbeak.  Think, world's most effective assassin, he can be anything, he knows where you live, knows your weaknesses, and knows how to make your death, brutal, and easily able to be covered up.  Love the voice, love his sick sense too, there's a scene in Africa where the Cons are gathered, and a vulture flys by, Laserbeak just flys out and shoots it to pieces for no reason, but he does it laughing all the way!  Easily one of the better additions to the movie.

Sentinel Prime. Lenard Nemoy brings this guy to life, and I mean it.  Now I will say this, the novel portrays Sentinel as much more compassionate and conflicted about his choice to betray Optimus and the Autobots (along with killing the twins!  HUZZAH!)  but in the movie he isn't as fleshed out as I was hoping, he's more of this cold hearted dictator then a true leader.  Eitherway, he's probably the second favorite new character for me, the first obviously being Laserbeak XD

= PLOT=
Probably the strongest part of the movie on it's own, the moon landing conspiricy thing is interesting and does draw you in as they inevitably reach the climax of that storyline, and that is where thinks are interesting.  The second part of the film is purely action, action, action. It's a non-stop rollercoaster ride of explosions robots, etc.

The main plot however is pretty nice, you do feel some sadness when Sam and Carly have their big confrontation, during the film I overheard people trying to piece together the Moon cover up, and it was an interesting story.

However that's also a problem, I'm a fan of action movies, but I could only watch so much action before it gets bland. And the final battle only has one objective "shoot the pillar", so you're basically watching an hour long fight scene, saying to yourself  "Just shoot the pillar...just shoot the pillar"

The final battle between Prime, Megatron, and Sentinel was very intense, but the conclusion was less then amazing,  Prime kills Sentinel after losing an arm, Megatron makes a remark, and Prime tears his head and spine out...and then it's over, triumphant speech time!  Sorry but, didn't you learn from ROTF? Quick climaxes just annoy people.

= Plot HOLES=
Have to address these...sorry...it's what I notice most in these movies.

* Dino and Que.  Honestly...the game calls them Mirage and Wheeljack, as do the novel, comic, and toyline.  Why are they named Dino and Que?!
* How does Sentinel magically go from being Cybertronian in nature, to suddenly having his Earth mode and Vehicle mode?
* Why do Ironhide and Sideswipe drop their guns when fighting the two dreads?  That really was just dumb..
* Why does NEST let Sam keep Wheelie and Brains?
* Optimus loses his trailer in a Driller attack, and magically appears with his jetpack later on.
* Soundwave appears to have captured all the Autobots off camera and has them at his mercy.  
* Optimus offers Sentinel the Matrix. If Sentinel really was evil all along, why didn't he take it?
* How did the Energon Detectors set up across the world not pick up on Soundwave or Laserbeak at all?

Anyway...tired of typing for now, might update in the morning, just wanted to get my initial thoughts down.

Final verdict though:

If you're a TF fan, go see it and judge for yourself, otherwise, I really can't say it's a great movie, but it's adequate enough for a matinee showing.

2.5/5

EDIT:

Woke up this morning, had a different opinion on things now, since, well, I'm not dead tired anymore.  Only slightly zombified tired.

Anywho.

Que/Wheeljack....I actually liked this guy, he seemed like out of all the warriors and fighters, he was just this nice old man who tried to help when he could, making weapons and gadgets to support the cause.  And unlike many, the headsculpt doesn't bother me that much.  He was probably the only Autobot who died that I was sad about. He didn't really die a coward, cause if he were a coward he wouldn't tag along on the adventure at all, he was just trying to help, and he was executed for it.  Plus his last words sorta got to me "We're all a bunch of good chaps here", idk why, but hearing that phrase just gets to me.

Dino/Mirage is still alive at the end and set to appear in any possible 4th movie.  Despite the fact he dies at Starscream's hand in the novel.

Soundwave's design is just cool, granted I'm not sure if it's necessarily "SOUNDWAVE" but it's pretty cool, can't wait to see the Human Alliance toy for this guy.  (Tentacles of death and rape not included.)

Speaking of Soundwave, one scene makes me laugh everytime I think about it.  Soundwave has captured the Autobots and is planning on taking them prisoner, then Dylan, the human villain appears and basically says,

Dylan: "Hey, no prisoners!"  

Soundwave: "Oh yeah, I'm evil, duuuuh"  *Shoots Que in the back*

Just a funny moment to me in retrospect XD



This is sounding more like random spoilers then movie reviewing....oh well

The final Chicago invasion really does make you feel like there are high stakes here, the Decepticons can really be frightening at times when they're mowing down humans in the streets.  Hell, there's scenes of subway cars filled with charred corpses and human skeletons laying in the streets after an attack.  It's pretty F'd up.  

I'm probably going to go see it again, it was alot more fun now that I'm fully awake to remember it all.  It's still full of bad acting, bad character building, and bland characters, but I hate to say it....that's half the fun of it, watching this movie and looking for all the plot holes and such, hell, if there was a drinking game where you take a shot everytime a character you don't care about dies, you'd be drunk halfway through!

Go see this movie, it's worth the money, it's much more toned down then ROTF, still some bad bad bad jokes, but again, it's sorta fun to listen to how bad they really are XD

New verdict:  3.5/5

Oh, and no Optimus mech tech armor.....SAD FACE T_T

Going to the movie now

Expect a review in....5 hours or so.

Be afraid...be very afraid!

Another movie review so soon? Well get used to it punks! It's open season on Summer Blockbusters! >: D

Let me say this, I have next to no X-men knowledge, I never saw the original TV show, never read the comics, nothing, I don't even remember half the stuff in the other 3 movies to be honest.

THAT FOURTH ONE NEVER EXISTED!

So, what I'm trying to say is, I'm not going to be complaining about things X-men fans have been about this movie, like Mystique's backstory, or how Banshee and Havoc were never original X-men.

I will however still be complaining, so be prepared P:<

~Plot~
To me the story is very much: X-men Origins: Magneto and Professor X. It's built as a movie to show us how these two people started out and became what they are in the present, or in this case, the first 3 movies.

And boy...Magneto's story is great, he's very much the anti-hero in this film, so likeable but still so malicious and vicious, but you also sympathize with him because you know why he's like this, and what he's been through, which makes him a very good character, which adds ALOT to a backstory film.

Essentially the main plot is set back in the Cold Wars, mutants are still an unknown factor in our lives and people seem to be hiding their abilities from the eyes of the public. An Evil group known as the Hellfire Club is trying to start World War 3 so the nuclear energy will cause more mutations or something, but to be honest, it's not all that clear nor does it make all that much sense to me. All we need to know is it's Mutant vs Mutant to determine the fate of our planet.

However, we get the standard movie action build up as well:

1) Meet the heroes
2) Heroes get asses kicked and/or someone dies
3) Heroes Train
4) Heroes confront bad guys
5) Heroes Win
6) Lead in for the sequel

X-men First Class is that, but with an added hint of interesting backstories for Magneto and Professor X, but that's really about it, but that's not a bad thing either, as a movie featuring them both is well worth a look into.

~Characters~

Magneto
Professor X
Mystique
Beast

Those are the only characters you'll care about folks

The other bad guys: Riptide, Azhe...Azaziel....Ariel queen of the mermaids...THE RED GUY! and Angel are all the usual henchmen, they show up to cause a fight scene, heck, Riptide gets like..3 scenes? If that.  Emma Frost is a bit more interesting, but you really don't feel the need to care about her much.

The X-men themselves however...are almost just as bad:  Banshee, Havoc, and Darwin rarely talk or anything, heck, Darwin, one of the few characters I know and like, doesn't even have many lines or much time to get personality in. Same with Banshee and Havoc, they're sorta there because....HEY! NEW MUTANTS!

Now let's talk about the REAL stars of the show.

First off, Magneto. Who I think is really the main star of this movie. His story is more interesting, his character more developed, and the fact everytime he's on the screen you're smiling without knowing it, he's that good.  Plus his actor does a great job portraying him as well.

Professor X is similar, but not as interesting of a character, he's still got the charm and intellect of Xavier, but he has a bit of college student in him, hitting on women and drinking frequently. He's a gifted mind, confident, and looks to help people, but you knew that already if you saw the other films, so there's really nothing all too "NEW" to the character aside from seeing his college years.

Now for Beast....I relate with this character alot, and I'm sure alot of teenagers and young adults will as well. In this film his mutation is still limited, instead of the iconic blue fur and well...BEAST form, he just has hand like feet, similar to a monkey or ape. Xavier helps him to try and accept his mutation, but is still put down by his peers when he finally gets his confidence. The character can be likeable at times, but also very shallow, he cares about his appearance and the appearances of others a bit too much...at least, until the end of the movie  *HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE*

Mystique....I really don't like this character...not just in this movie but in all of them, I just never liked Mystique.

HOWEVER

You do end up caring for her midway through the movie, to the point I felt sad with her at some moments.  Like Beast her character can probably be related to the teen demographic, the girl who is self conscious and wants to be accepted for who she is and what she looks like. And she sends a good message to kids too, don't be afraid to be yourself, and be sure to hook up with an evil maniac who kills people for giggles.  STAY IN SCHOOL!

Oh...and one character I MUST address  P.S.  SPOILERS!

Wolverine makes by far the best cameo, EVER.  The entire theater was laughing in hysteria, not gonna spoil all of it, but that moment alone is worth the $5 admission.

Also, for all you transformer fans who read this crap I post here, when you see the X-jet, aka ROTF Jetfire's cameo, do yourself a favor, and add some lines of dialogue from ROTF when he's on screen, it makes the movie alot more hilarious.  STICK THE LANDING!  *BOOM!*

So, how does X-men: First Class stand up?

Surprisingly well. It does hit some of the same faults the previous movies had, like bringing in mutants who offer little to the story, and making some plot points a tad bit confusing, but overall the story of how Magneto and Professor X started out is one that is deep, moving, exciting, and well deserving of your money!

</strong>Overall Rating: 4/5</strong>

Sorry folks, no new Trailers here XD

So instead......RANDOM UPDATES!

First off, expect a Green Lantern Review on the 17th, and a special Midnight Premiere review of Transformers: DOTM on the 29th.

Oh that's right, MIDNIGHT RELEASE BAY-BA!  Haven't been to a Midnight showing in awhile, so I'm looking forward to it ^^"

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